For Mother’s Day, my oldest daughter surprised me with a homespun game of Taskmaster.
If you’re not familiar with Taskmaster, it’s a British game show where actors and comedians complete a series of challenges aka “tasks,” conducted by the Taskmaster’s assistant (show creator Alex Horne in the original UK series). The Taskmaster (Greg Davies in the original UK series) then reviews the attempts, awards points and hilarity ensues.
Tasks are always presented on a folded piece of paper with an official red Taskmaster seal. For our game, the first task was “Provide your most maternal object. You have 20 minutes.”
I grabbed the sling I used when my oldest daughter was a baby. Her sister, my younger daughter, offered her big teddy bear (the mom to her little bears) and my husband selected a body pillow “because of those studies that show baby monkeys prefer padded moms to wire moms.” The Taskmaster awarded us the following points.
Mom: 3pts
Dad: 2pts
Sis: 1pt
2nd task: Laundry. The Taskmaster wants to wear four specific items of clothing that are somewhere in a pile of laundry. Task is complete when those four items are in the washing machine. Time limit 10 minutes. Most of the items were inside out. The checkered sock was cleverly hidden.
We each completed the task on our own, without the others watching, and then the pile of laundry was reset for the next participant.
Me: 7:35, all 4 items found, 3pts
Dad: 7:45, 3 items found (no checkered sock, it was hidden inside a pair of pants) 1pt
Sis: 8:08, ended up putting the entire pile of laundry in the machine; it still counts but she didn’t do it fast enough! 2pts
3rd task is a group task. We had to choose one person to go into the backyard (Dad), one to go onto the porch (Mom) and one to stand in the dining room (Sis). Dad was blindfolded, Mom had to wear headphones, and Sis was behind a closed door.
The task was read by person inside (Sis), make a mother’s day card, and then she held the task up against a window so I could read it (not against rules!). From the porch, I verbally guided blindfolded backyard Dad to a table of art supplies and talked him through making a card.
Outcome of task 3: Not bad. Rainbow is a bit off. Nice to know my fmily loves me so muck.
Everyone was awarded 3 points.
Task 4 was inside of a shopping caddy: Go grocery shopping. You may not step foot into the kitchen. The person with the most gluten-free items in the fastest time wins. You have 20 minutes.
Several grocery items were displayed on the kitchen counters. We each took turns doing the task without watching each other.
After we completed the task, we discussed our attempts. Sis avoided “stepping foot” by using a blanket to scoot around; she gathered 15 items in 58 secs. Dad did a kind of crab walk on his hands and backside; 24 items in 2:53, with controversy: Are cleaning products “gluten-free groceries”?
I’d made a mad dash to the coat closet for an umbrella that I used to grab several items and hook a table leg to pull several groceries to the edge of the kitchen at one time. Then I scooted on my knees into the kitchen, grabbed more and hucked them into the livingroom. My feet never touched the floor and I collected 19 items in 4:30.
Final scores:
Sis: 7 points
Dad: 9 points
Mom: 11 points, I won Mother’s Day Taskmaster!
~ J.L. Hilton
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