How I left my husband for a guy with pointy ears

I’d hired Teldryn Sero because I didn’t care if he died. Little did I know I would fall in love with him and leave my husband in Solitude with a crate of gems, two adopted urchins, and a bottle of Colovian Brandy.

Stenvar, aka Mr. Dovahkiin

Don’t get me wrong, Stenvar’s a great guy. Before adding the Dragonborn DLC to my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, I’d carefully considered every marriage candidate in the game before choosing my Mr. Dovahkiin, and I spent a bit of time adventuring with other followers like Faendal the elven archer and Vorstag the tattooed Nord. I didn’t want someone like Balimund the blacksmith, who would sit at home, collecting a hundred septims a day for me – even if he could “perform miracles with steel.”

I wanted a partner, a fellow adventurer who would help me defeat daedra, pickpocket priests and loot libraries. A companion to warn me of impending danger, witness the wonders of Tamriel at my side, and take aggro so I could shoot things in the ass with poisoned arrows and plunder corpses.

Stenvar was a tank who could survive boobytraps and swing an axe like a lumberjack, but had the good AI not to rush into enemy dens and ruin my sneak-and-snipe modus operandi. He didn’t gripe about carrying my burdens, didn’t care who I robbed, and his gravelly voice reminded me a bit of Jayne Cobb. So we got hitched in the Temple of Mara and I proceeded to enjoy the “Lovers Comfort” bonus every chance I could.

Teldryn Sero, aka “the hunkiest swordhunk in all Morrowhunk”

But after I added Dragonborn, I took my man with me to explore the new island of Solstheim, and he kept getting lost or killed. I got tired of reloading, so I fast-traveled his candyass back to Solitude and decided to hire the weird cthulhu/steampunk-ish dude in the Retching Netch pub. I reckoned if Tiny Goggles got himself killed, I wouldn’t have to reload, I’d just grab another piece of draugr fodder. Maybe that bitch Uthgerd in Whiterun.

Teldryn claimed to be the best swordsman in all Morrowind — or as he is known on Tumblr, the “hunkiest swordhunk in all Morrowhunk.” I quickly discovered that the dark elf possessed sweet one-handed skills, and a lethal arsenal of conjuration and destruction spells. Best of all, he had personality, a personal history, and an extensive amount of dialog. I found myself visiting places in Skyrim just to hear what he would say about them. Often, his opinions matched my own. Vampires sucked, Whiterun was unimpressive, Morthal wretched, Markarth a wonder, and Riverwood a lovely place to settle down.

But his voice ultimately won me over. The melodious, theatrical flair to the way he delivered every line, often dripping with slick sarcasm. “So! this is Riften. Glover Mallory told me a good deal about the place. It looks exactly as I’d pictured…” One can’t help hearing the unspoken “a complete dung heap” at the end. Or the Shakespearian way he cries “Lead on!” after I finish sorting his inventory, the words “and let slip the dogs of war! run through my mind every time.

Teldryn without his mysterious mask

Divorce isn’t possible in the game, but Teldryn is one of the few followers who can’t be married, anyway. He’s also one of the few who can’t be a steward, so my plans to build him a love nest with Hearthfire aren’t possible, either. Damn Bethesda programmers, you’re worse than the vermin that infest the ash wastes back home!

Together, Nightingale and spellsword, we cleansed the bile-spewing Afflicted from the underground fortress of Bthardamz, read the Oghma Infinium, released a trapped demonic pirate from the bowels of the mage school, negotiated a temporary ceasefire between warring factions, and captured the dragon Odahviing, who took me to Sovngarde to defeat Alduin world-eater. We pickpocketed our way to skill level 100 and the Perfect Touch perk that finally allowed me to remove his helmet and see his handsome face. Then we joined the Imperial side of the war and liberated his fellow Dunmer from that racist prick Ulfric Stormcloak of Windhelm.

Curious, I looked up the voice actor who enchanted Teldryn to life. Turns out he’s Dan Donohue, a Grammy-nominated Shakespearian performer who also portrayed “Scar” in Disney’s Lion King on tour and on Broadway. Which explains a lot. If you want to hear more of him, listen to his Hamlet. He’s got sword skills IRL, too. Check out this video from the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (he’s the redhead).

Thanks to Teldryn Sero, I’ve enjoyed Skyrim that much more. Sorry, Stenvar. But, hey, our house in Solitude is next to the bards college, and if you can’t get one of the musicians to “play your flute” once in awhile for a handful of flawless emeralds, it’s not my fault.

* * *

Read more Skyrim …

See my “5 Questions” interview with Dan Donohue over at CharlotteGeeks.com

Skyrim smut 1: “Come with me to Sovngarde
Skyrim smut 2: “I need another stamina potion”
Skyrim smut 3: “Tickling the angry troll”
Skyrim smut 4: “The Dunmer of Debauchery”
Skyrim smut 5: “A Tsunny Day in Shor’s Realm”
Skyrim smut 6: “Return to Solitude”

~ J.L. Hilton

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Aliens who are what they eat

This post originally appeared April 21, 2013, on the Contact – Infinite Futures SF blog.

There’s a fan theory that the orcs in Journeyquest have green skin because they are photosynthetic.

When inventing space aliens, I look for inspiration right here on Earth, such as the Elysia chlorotica. This green sea slug steals chloroplasts from the algae it eats, enabling it to use photosynthesis to gain energy directly from the sun.

For me, this inspires a few interesting science fiction ideas:

  • An alien life form that has green skin and needs sunlight to stay alive. What happens if the alien is captured or covered in some way? What if the alien is traveling in space or living on a space station? How much light do they need, and how do they get it? Do they carry a flashlight for snacks?
  • An alien with the ability to change its appearance or even its basic biology by using genes obtained by eating plants, animals… or people? That one has sinister implications. The morphing villain who looks just like your friend/crewmember/lover has been used many times in science fiction. This would add a gruesome consumption component and a scientific basis for the ability to assume the appearance of others.

Such abilities don’t necessarily need to belong to a villain or monster. They could be used for good or a kind of superpower. Need to charge a battery? Eat an electric eel. Need to fly? Eat a bird. Need to breath underwater? Eat a fish. Need to regrow a limb? Eat a sea star.

An interesting plot might be if the alien wanted or needed some kind of obscure ability, and had to travel to a planet where an animal existed with that ability, then hunt and eat it.

What if every alien of this race looked completely different, based on each individual’s diet? Could they control which genes they absorbed, or would they have to be careful what they ate in order to remain the person they wanted to be?

I love carrots and sweet potatoes, so if I were one of these aliens, would my skin turn orange? If I ate chicken, would I grow feathers instead of hair?

If you could, would you reconstruct yourself with plant or animal abilities? Which ones would you choose?

~ J.L. Hilton

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No heroic women?

Today I want to talk about heroes. Because today I saw these books in a store:

Clearly intended to be a “boys side” and a “girls side” of one display. Of course, boys and girls (and their parents) are free to buy whichever books they want. Just don’t expect to see a single female in the “Heroes” book. I looked through it. Not one.

Because, after all, there aren’t any female lifeguards, soldiers, search and rescue workers or police in real life, right?

Heroes should not be restricted to one gender. When I wrote Stellarnet Rebel, the first book in the Stellarnet Series, I wanted to make Genny something more than a beautiful damsel in distress. She kicks ass and fires weapons, but also uses her intelligence, wit, wisdom and humor to save herself, her friends, and ultimately a world.

Because there’s absolutely no reason why a woman can’t be heroic.

~ J.L. Hilton

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Can’t Stop the Serenity 2013

This post originally appeared March 31, 2013, on the Contact – Infinite Futures SF blog.

Seven authors from the Contact-Infinite Futures SF/SFR blog join Dark Horse Comics, Felicia Day, Think Geek, Joss Whedon and many others in sponsoring Can’t Stop the Serenity 2013. In support of charity fundraiser screenings of Serenity, we’ve donated some of our favorite titles in a special ebook collection to be awarded in raffles, drawings or door prizes by events around the world.

Like our beloved but ended-too-soon TV series Firefly and the movie it spawned, these stories contain action, adventure, romance, humor and faraway worlds.

Here’s a little more info about the authors and their books:

  • Alien Revealed by Lilly Cain is an erotic alien romance set against the backdrop of a greater galactic war that’s arrived on Earth’s doorstep.
  • Blue Galaxy by Diane Dooley is a futuristic romance about a space captain who gets more than he bargained for when he agrees to transport a high-ranking and beautiful passenger.
  • Liar’s Game by Kait Gamble is the story of a ragtag crew of prison escapees led by “deceased” captain Aurelia Popkiss, who finds a mysterious stowaway on board her ship.
  • Rulebreaker by Cathy Pegau is a sci-fi F/F romance – but when you’re a liar and a thief, falling in love means risking more than just your heart.
  • Sparks in Cosmic Dust by Robert Appleton is about four strangers – whores, criminals and outcasts – who are offered the treasure of a lifetime.If they can survive to claim it.
  • Stellarnet Rebel by J.L. Hilton is the post-cyberpunk sci-fi story of interstellar bloggers, alien freedom fighters, sex, violence and video games. EPIC Award finalist for best sci-fi ebook of 2012. SFR Galaxy Award winner for Best Non-Traditional Romance.
  • Winter Fusion by Anna Hackett is a science fiction romance released as part of the anthology, A Galactic Holiday.

Can’t Stop the Serenity (CSTS) is a unique opportunity to indulge your geeky side while doing some good. Since 2006, fans have organized screenings of Joss Whedon’s Serenity to raise funds and awareness to support Equality Now in their work for the protection and promotion of the human rights of women and girls around the world.

In the 2012 year, Can’t Stop The Serenity raised $110,466 for Equality Now and 19 other charities. This brings the grand total to more than $800,000.00 over the last seven years. New cities joined the cause and we had events in Australia, Canada, the United Kingdom and the United States.

~ J.L. Hilton

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Don’t forget to use your headgear

I found this note fifteen years ago, tucked between the pages of Dragons of Autumn Twilight in a used bookstore. I don’t know “Jeremy” or his Mom, but I bought the book and I’ve kept the note ever since. It’s such a beautiful snapshot of geekiness — Dragonlance, dice holder, headgear — and such a sweet expression of parental love. I’ve never had the heart to throw it away.

~ J.L. Hilton

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The Great Raleigh Chocolate Tour of 2013

Please note that this information is based on my experiences in February 2013. Locations and products may have changed since then.

The alien heroes in my science fiction Stellarnet books may think chocolate tastes like an oozing fungus from the planet Glin, but my human heroine Genevieve O’Riordan and I both love it.

Saturday, I visited seven chocolate shops in Raleigh, North Carolina. I started with world-renowned chocolatiers Godiva and Lindt in the Crabtree Valley Mall, then went down Glenwood Avenue to Hereghty cafe, followed by stops at locally-owned bean-to-bar shops Videri and Escazu, then up Capital Boulevard to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory at Triangle Town Center, and ending at the Chocolate Boutique in Lafayette Village on Falls of Neuse Road.

The tour took me five hours from 11am to 4pm, which included driving in the snow, eating lunch, chatting with store owners and sales clerks, taking pictures, tasting samples, and making purchases at each stop. The tour might take others from 2 to 6 hours, depending on weather, traffic, being alone or with a group, and how much time spent at each location.

* * * UPDATE 3/4/13: The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory store in TTC has closed. There is one now open in Brier Creek. Click here for an updated map. * * *

I’m not going to rate nor rank the shops, and I can’t possibly choose a favorite. Every single one has a character of its own, with unique offerings, friendly service and delicious treats. Here’s more information, with the shops listed in the order visited. All photographs taken by J.L. Hilton (me).

* * *

GODIVA
4325 Glenwood Ave, Raleigh, NC 919.781.0930

In 1926, Joseph Draps opened his first Godiva Chocolatier shop on a cobblestone street in Brussels, Belguim. The shop in Crabtree Valley Mall, near the food court, is one of now hundreds of Godiva boutiques around the world. It features seasonal goodies, bars, boxes and individual pieces, as well as shakes, fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate, fresh fruit kabobs drizzled in chocolate, chocolate-dipped macaroons, chocolate dessert cups with fresh berries and chocolate-covered Oreo cookies. (See boutique exclusive info here.) I joined the Godiva Chocolate Rewards Club.

* * *

LINDT
4325 Glenwood Avenue, Raleigh, NC 919.786.6105

Lindt & Sprüngli is a a luxury Swiss chocolate and confectionery company that traces its origins back to 1845. Lindt chocolate is sold in more than 80 countries and manufactured bean to bar from eight production sites in Europe and the U.S. The Raleigh shop is just down the elevator from Godiva, and features bulk bins of Lindor truffles and European specialties, as well as bars, tins, boxes, chocolate teddy bears and seasonal gifts. I bought some of their HELLO bars in caramel brownie and strawberry cheesecake flavors, and I joined the Lindt Lovers Rewards program.

* * *

HEREGHTY HEAVENLY DELICIOUS
2603 Glenwood Avenue, Suite 123, Raleigh, NC 919.787.3995

This is not strictly a chocolate shop but a European-style cafe that offers cookies, pastries, coffee, wine, beer, sandwiches, salads, and so we stopped here for lunch. They do have chocolate truffles from time to time, but didn’t have any on hand when I visited. I did, however, taste a “Liquid Brownie” chocolate, caramel and espresso drink. I can’t wait to go back. The food, drink and pastries were all fantastic. The cafe is intimate, with limited space and small tables set up for couples, not really designed for larger groups. But they do off-site catering, corporate lunches, custom gift boxes, etc. Baked goods are produced in-house, except for their gluten-free offerings that are made off-premises.

Driving from Hereghty to Videri, we passed the Cupcake Shoppe and Turkish Delights, both on Glenwood Avenue. They would have been fun stops for chocolate-flavored goodies, too. But we were pressed for time as road conditions were expected to worsen by evening, and we were focused on chocolate makers — not chocolate bakers or other chocolate treats.

* * *

VIDERI CHOCOLATE FACTORY
327 West Davie Street, Downtown Raleigh, NC 919.755.5053

Videri has a Victorian style that made me feel as if I’d stepped back in time as soon as I entered the shop in Raleigh’s warehouse district. The factory is designed to allow walkthrough, with most of the production occurring behind glass and beautiful signs describing each step of the process. I couldn’t stop taking pictures. They offer large and small bars, seasonal treats, custom creations and space for private parties. Two weeks from now, they will also have a coffee bar.

“Videri Chocolate Factory was started by group of friendly folks who wanted to create wonderful chocolate, from the bean, everyday. We’re a cozy downtown chocolate factory that scrupulously sources every ingredient to insure a high quality, socially responsible chocolate.”

* * *

ESCAZU ARTISAN CHOCOLATES
936 N Blount Street, Raleigh, NC 919.832.3433

A dark-chocolate-lovers paradise, I’ve been shopping at Escazu for awhile and had previously taken a behind-the-scenes tour where I learned where their beans come from and how their chocolate is made. What I still don’t know is how they make such unusual ingredients so delicious. Lime and chili? Lemon and cayenne? Buddha’s hand and poppyseed? It’s magic. They also offer ice cream, cookies and coffee. When planning a visit, keep in mind that Escazu is a very small store with limited parking, in a bit of an unusual location just off of N. Blount Street in a neighborhood of downtown Raleigh and next door to Market Restaurant.

“Our workshop, located near downtown in the Mordecai neighborhood also serves as a retail store. We make and sell all of our products at this location, with a continually evolving selection of truffles and confections available nowhere else. We offer coffee drinks made with Counter Culture coffee, house made ice cream push-ups, soft drinks and a wide array of drinking chocolates, as well as locally made gifts.”

Escazu also sells Elemental chocolate-covered fair-trade cocoa beans, which are made in Raleigh by Paul Mosca, who innovated a process to remove the shell while keeping the bean intact. Elemental does not have its own store location but may be purchased online or at Escazu and other stores throughout the Triangle.

* * *

ROCKY MOUNTAIN CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Triangle Town Center, Capital Blvd., Raleigh NC 919.792.2277
Brier Creek Commons, 8521 Brier Creek Parkway, Suite 103, Raleigh, NC 919-806-8992

Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory is based in the town of Durango on the western slope of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Many of their products are made in their 53,000 square foot factory, but individual stores also prepare caramel and candy apples, fudge, chocolate items and confections on-site, in full view of the customer. Apples were being made the day we visited. It’s a very small store, just basically a walk-up counter within the mall. But it’s easy to reach if you park and enter near the Creekside Cafes food court entrance and take the elevator up to the second level. Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory is between the Sak’s Fifth Avenue and Macy’s stores. Also, chocolate coated potato chips.


I know it was a chocolate tour, but I bought caramels for my daughter who doesn’t like chocolate, and I bought an “Apple Pie” candy apple. The sales clerk cut the apple for me, which made it easier to eat and to share. It was OMG. I can’t wait to have another one.

* * *

THE CHOCOLATE BOUTIQUE
8480 Honeycutt Road, Suite 100, Raleigh, NC 919.322.0960

Located in Lafayette Village, the Chocolate Boutique is both a chocolate shop and party venue. I don’t think it’s a bean-to-bar shop that grinds its own cocoa beans, but they do make all of their chocolates on the premises. One of my family’s favorites is their peanut butter caramel truffle, and my husband loves their chocolate-covered bacon. Parties are available for children and/or adults, where you can make your own chocolates. They offer more than 1,200 molds to choose from, according to their Facebook page. Parties may be booked for a private group, or you can sign up for one of the monthly chocolate-making parties open to the public.

* * *

I had such a good time on the tour. It made me feel like a kid who’s been out trick-or-treating all Halloween night or… just like a kid in a candy store!

~ J.L. Hilton

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A valentine to my editor

This short story featuring Belloc from my Stellarnet books is a special valentine for my former editor, Alison Dasho. You can read other tales written for her by my fellow Carina Press authors Diane Dooley, Veronica Scott, Darcy Daniel, R.L. Naquin and Shawna Thomas. All of them include characters she helped us bring to life.

* * *

ASTERIA COLONY MED-BLOCK, SECTOR H

Alison awoke to the sound of a sultry male voice that might have been called a “crooner” in another century. A voice that didn’t sound at all like Kermit the Frog. But, when she opened her eyes, the singer did look a bit frog-like—a painfully handsome, humanoid version of a blue dart frog, with a pale face and sapphire skin on the back half of his head, neck and body.

“’Lo, Alison.”

He moved with a dancer’s grace, slender but powerful, as he stood over her and leaned close. Large, glistening irises made his eyes look like dark, polished pebbles, with only the slightest bit of white in the corners. Yet even that alien characteristic was somehow appealing, giving him a wide-eyed look of gentle innocence. A fantasy author would describe him as elven, if he’d had pointed ears. But the aliens known as Glin had no visible pinna, only slits on both sides of the head.

Her throat felt thick and sore when she swallowed, but she managed to whisper. “’Lo, Belloc. ‘Sup?” She tried not to stare at the chiseled pectorals that drew her gaze past his unbuttoned collar, but averted her eyes to the floral patterns shimmering in the digital threads of his programmable shirt.

“Nik told me you were here, in the IRL med-block.” He glanced at the numbers and lights that covered the wall at the head of her bed—information provided by the nano-sensors attached to her skin or injected into her body. “Dr. Geber says you’re doing well.”

“Epic.” Alison croaked the word and cleared her throat.

“Your technomage missed the subzero expedition.” He referred to her incarnation in the popular MMO Mysteria.

“Sorry.”

“No problem. You can watch the vid of our playthrough. We found the remnants of a secret civilization and several psionic weapons.”

A pair of gloves covered his webbed hands and extended to his elbows, alight with interactive Net icons on his forearms. He touched the controls on his cuffs and a corresponding window opened upon the wall, covering most of the medical apps.

“Were you watching something when I woke up?”

His hairless brows puckered over his eyes. “No.”

“I heard singing.”

Belloc sat on the edge of her bed and hung his head in awkward reticence. She’s the one who felt awkward, with her thin antibiotic hospital gown, bed head and raspy voice. She probably had bad breath, too. Ugh.

“I was trying to sing you well. The Glin do that.”

“’K, then don’t stop. I still feel like crap.”

“Are you thirsty?” He offered her a plastic bottle. “Duin thought you might need this.”

She accepted the gift and felt something slosh inside the container. “What is it?”

Glem. Water.”

“Water?”

“From Glin.” His people used the same word for their planet as themselves, as they considered one inseparable from the other.

“Are there flowers to go in it or something?”

“Like tea?”

“Like a vase.”

“The floral block might have a few of those blue roses left over from the wedding.”

The wedding. The very first wedding between an alien—Belloc—and a human—interstellar blogger Genevieve O’Riordan. Their marriage took place right here in Asteria Colony.

He moved to get up, but Alison stopped him. “N-V-M. Just sing.”

A corner of his mouth curled up in a shy half-smile. But he inhaled a deep breath and sang in a low, gurgling language that washed her aches away. Alison didn’t understand a word, but she appreciated the beauty of Glinnish—and the Glin beside her. While he sang, she drank the water. With each note, and each sip, she felt better and better.

Dr. Geber entered, waving a stylus that manipulated the stats on the wall. “What happened?”

Belloc stopped singing and stepped away from the bed, pivoting on one foot and swirling out of the doctor’s way. “Should I go?”

“I think there’s something wrong with the sensors.”

“I messed them up.” Belloc touched his glove and the Mysteria vid disappeared from the wall.

“It’s not you. She just suddenly… reset, back to her pre-op stats.”

Alison sat up, rubbing a hand through her hair, though it probably only made things worse. “But, I’m supposed to get better, right? That’s the whole reason I’m here.”

“Well, yes, but no.” Dr. Geber’s fingers wiggled in the air, shrinking and enlarging items on the wall, and flicking through several menus. “Not so quickly.”

She stretched her arms, tentatively twisted her torso, and realized that she felt pretty damn good. “I feel like I could fight a whole army of steam trolls.” She smiled at Belloc. “I guess your singing worked.”

He smiled back. “I’ll tell Hax to add another power to my mist wraith. Siren song healing bonus, plus ten.”

Alison drank the last of the water and returned the bottle to Belloc.

(c) J.L. Hilton, 2013

To find out more about Belloc, Genevieve O’Riordan, Duin, Hax, Nik, Dr. Geber, Glin and Asteria Colony, see Amazon.

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Skyrim smut for a horny Dovahkiin

* * WARNING: ADULT CONTENT * *

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Tamriel and its inhabitants belong to Bethesda and the creators of TESV. Zephyr Silvertongue is an original character.

Do not read if you are easily offended by fanfiction, erotica, humor, double entendre, battle tank Nords sporting a “horker tusk” or an Imperial Dragonborn with a hot set of sweet rolls.

1,800 words.

– J.L. Hilton

* * *

“COME WITH ME TO SOVNGARDE”

My housecarl Jordis prepared a bath in the master bedroom so I could wash the dust of draugr crypts and long roads from my weary limbs. Steam rose from the tub, fogging the bottles of spiced wine and making the sweet rolls glisten. As I unbuckled my armor, Stenvar cleared his throat.

“I’ll leave you to it.”

He offered me a privacy I did not desire. He’d proven himself a follower worthy of adventuring with the Dragonborn, slaying bandits, Falmer, Hagravens and Forsworn with ease. His stealth and archery skills nearly matched my own. But now I wanted him for more than a sellsword and a pack mule. Much more.

I closed the door before he could leave. “You don’t need to sleep on a bed roll tonight.”

“Is that so?” His steel helmet tucked under his arm, I could see his stoic features. For a moment, I thought he would refuse. I might be Dovahkiin, but Stenvar was not the loyal, protective Faendal, nor the sweet, guileless Vorstag. This man had deep battle scars and eyes that had seen too much. He was a Nord. I was an Imperial. Still, he was a man, and those long roads of Skyrim contained as much loneliness as dust.

I raised myself on tiptoe in my steel boots and leaned against his ebony chestplate, wrapping my arms around his muscular neck. I loved seeing him in the black armor, almost as much as I wanted to see him out of it. The sleek surface crushed my bosom as I asked, “Wouldn’t you like a bath?”

“I would. I can take one downstairs, when you’re done.”

“But then… I won’t be in it.”

He said nothing. Damn the Nord, did he want me beg? He was too much a man of Tamriel to be coy. The grindstone of experience had honed him to a fine edge, and that was what I wanted, what made my blood burn like fire salts. I didn’t want to lead him by the hand, as if he was some Rorikstead innkeeper’s son. In this, as in our quests together, I relied on Stenvar to know what I needed and to do it without being told.

He smelled of sweat and leather, and a hint of blue mountain flowers as I pressed my lips to his, relishing the rough scrape of his grizzled beard and the faint taste of mead. With his shield hand he gripped the back of my head. His fingers in their Orcish gauntlet tangled in my hair and held tight, pulling my head back and separating our lips.

I didn’t beg, I demanded. “Stay with me. Bathe with me. Spend the night in my bed.”

He dropped his helm, which hit the floor with a heavy thud, and his sword arm grasped my waist. I might have been held by a standing stone, solid and just as impossible to move. His lips brushed mine, but didn’t linger. I wanted to scream, but there was no shout, no word of power for passion. I kissed him again, tongue and mouth opening hot and wet. And again he broke off. With a smile.

“You hired me to kill things. Other services cost extra.”

Humor danced in his eyes like torchbugs. He knew full well that bedding was part of the mercenary package, a perk in the grim grind of dungeoning and dragonslaying. With as harsh a land as Skyrim, any joys or comforts were seized without question. Perhaps he had a spouse or a lover waiting for him somewhere in Eastmarch. I didn’t know. But I knew he loved gold. Gold and the lethal crunch of bone under his hammer. So be it.

My voice felt thick in my throat as I replied. “If you fuck as well as you fight, it will be worth every septim.”

He kissed me again, while my hands explored his armor, locating buckles and straps and unbinding them. We removed our gear, but he remained in boots and trousers by the time I’d stripped down to my amulet of disease immunity. He waited, watching me climb into the warm water. In this, as in battle, he wasn’t one to rush in until he assessed the situation, planned his attack.

I burnished my skin with tallow soap, worked elixirs of honeycomb and rock warbler egg into my hair. Sinking back into the water, I rinsed vampire blood and the Divines knew what from my dark braids. I resurfaced and opened my eyes to the sight of thick, naked manhood. It was no wonder he’d mastered two-handed swordplay. The weight of him hung half-hard and enticing, inches from my lips. I choked back an appreciative growl even as I eyed the part of him I’d prefer to choke on—after he bathed.

“Is there room for me?”

Whether he meant room in the bath or room between my lips or legs, I swore to find a way, Dibella willing. I moved so he could sit behind me. His bulging arms drew me closer, so my stomach covered his, and I felt his arousal throbbing between us. A long scar made a furrow through the hair that carpeted his powerful chest, and I traced this with one finger.

“The Thalmor who gave me that was aiming for my head, but Arkay didn’t want me, that day.”

“I’m glad.”

“So am I.” He chuckled, but his laughter transmuted into a savage groan when he put his lips to mine again and his rough hands to the curves of my body. No metal nor leather separated us, and skin on skin I pressed myself into his hard thighs and harder chest. Between kisses, I washed the dirt from his neck and wiped a smear of wolf’s blood from his cheek. His close-cropped hair felt like the fur trim of a jarl’s tunic, his now rock-hard cock fit like the familiar comfort of Dawnbreaker’s hilt in my hand.

Stenvar reached for a bottle of Evette San’s finest, uncorked it with his teeth, and spit the cork on the floor. He offered it first to me, then took a drink after, careless of the liquid running over his chin. He tipped the bottle and poured the spiced wine down my neck and over my breasts, then licked my skin. Seeking every drop, his mouth moved from my ear to my shoulder, while his hand fast-traveled from my breasts to the rift between my legs. As nimbly as I could pick any lock, his fingers sent shocks of pleasure sizzling through me. He didn’t use magic, but he had me in his spell, all the same. The more the water cooled, the more I burned. I expected any moment he would bend me over and take me there, on my knees. Squirming and sloshing water over the sides, I tried to impale myself on his horker tusk, but his arms held me firm. His deep, gravelly voice filled my ear.

“You won’t be stealing that, my seductive sneak-thief. You’ll get it when I give it to you.”

Before I could argue, he lifted me out of the tub and carried me to bed, where he placed me upon the snowy sabre cat pelts. Standing over me, he drank the last of the spiced wine, while I enjoyed the magnificent view that made me want to explore him like a Dwemer ruin. His wet skin glistened in the candlelight, his nipples two small, tight pebbles on the crests of his hulking torso, but the cool night air had no effect on his manhood. I was not a Nord, however, and I shivered.

“Cold? Then I’ll warm you.” He discarded the bottle and covered my body with his.

“You’re the one always complaining about the cold,” I teased.

“Ice caves make my fingers numb. I think my ma had some Imperial blood, though she wouldn’t admit it outside the walls of our home. Nords aren’t known for being tolerant of other races.”

“How do you feel about Imperials?”

“With my hands.”

He grinned, cupping one ample breast and kissing me deeply while his thumb flicked over my nipple, gently pinching, tugging and massaging in circles. Pushing his hips against me, he slid the full length of his shaft up and down, polishing the sensitive pearl in my hot, damp cleft until I arched my spine and writhed beneath him, digging my fingernails into his broad back and grasping handfuls of hard backside. If I were a lute, Inge Six-Fingers could not have played me better. And so I gave myself over completely to him and to my own berserker frenzy of lust.

When he finally entered me with a single, deft thrust, burying himself to the hilt, I cried out. The ache of emptiness soothed, my inner sanctum reached, and I felt a fullness more powerful than a potion of ultimate stamina. I wrapped my legs around him and my moans shook the rafters of Proudspire Manor. He impaled me again and again, each withdrawal leaving a desperate desire for more, each stab pushing me closer to the edge of oblivion. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they could hear me all the way to the Blue Palace.

The rumble of his voice insisted, “Now, Zephyr, my lovely rogue. Do it now… Come with me to Sovngarde.”

Climax vibrated through me like a thu’um. Stenvar slowed but would not relent, drawing out the length of each stroke with expert timing, driving me to convulse again. Pleasure became perfectly painful, and I gasped his name when I couldn’t stand it any more, clawed his shoulders in exquisite agony. He grunted my name, and something about the Divines, and I felt his hot release.

I fell asleep in his arms. In the morning, I awoke before him, tucked a coin purse with 500 septims under his arm and went downstairs to practice alchemy. He never mentioned the gold, never returned it, but never again suggested I pay for any of his services, in battle nor in bed. A month later, we were married in the Temple of Mara, but that’s a tale for another time.

* * *

Read more Skyrim…

How I left my husband for a man with pointy ears

Skyrim smut 1: “Come with me to Sovngarde
Skyrim smut 2: “I need another stamina potion”
Skyrim smut 3: “Tickling the angry troll”
Skyrim smut 4: “The Dunmer of Debauchery”
Skyrim smut 5: “A Tsunny Day in Shor’s Realm”
Skyrim smut 6: “Return to Solitude”

~ J.L. Hilton

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Writers and the winds of change at Illogicon 2


IllogiCon is a small, local science fiction convention attended by fans, readers, authors, editors and publishers in my area.

I had the chance to hang out with friends new and old — Joe from the Research Triangle Science Fiction Society, Kate and Margaret from the Durham Writers Meetup, author and video game writer Richard Dansky and his wife Belinda, Wired columnist and author Natania Barron, writer and game developer Warren Schultz, Ribbons and Rivets, the Chainmail Chick, and author M. David Blake.

I’d attended the inaugural Illogicon as a vendor in 2012, selling my handmade jewelry and a couple of art books featuring my work, and promoting the release of Stellarnet Rebel. This year, I went as a guest, panelist and moderator, rather than a seller. I didn’t have much to sell, since I’d spent the year writing rather than restocking my jewelry inventory.

Saturday, I moderated the panel Comedy in Sci-fi/Fantasy with John Hartness, author of the Black Knight Chronicles and Bubba the Monster Hunter series, and Jeremy Whitley, writer for the comics Princeless and The Order of Dagonet. Sunday I was on the Steampunk to Cyberpunk: A History panel, with Illogicon webcomic guest of honor Garth Graham.

The convention ended for me after the How long will our books still be on paper? panel, where Davey Beauchamp, Tony Daniel, James Maxey and I discussed the future of paperbacks, hard covers and ebooks.

What amazed me the most about this convention was the apparent shift in attitudes toward ebooks. For months I’ve heard: Why aren’t your books on paper? Are you with one of those vanity presses? I hate reading ebooks. You’re not a real author unless your book is on a shelf at B&N. Don’t you have a real copy I could buy right now?

Suddenly, at Illogicon, I heard: Ebooks are the future. Paperbacks and big bookstores are going away in a few years. You’re on Audible? And Kindle? And Nook, Diesel, Sony, Google and Apple bookstore? Really? My publisher doesn’t do that. I can buy your book DRM-free? Can I buy your book on my new tablet? I’m buying your book right now with my smartphone…

There also seemed to be a lot of talk about misogyny, racism and homophobia in SF/F. Some of the discussion occurred in panels like Science Fiction and Ethics, Women and Geek Culture and Writing Strong Women, but it also happened in the hallways and side rooms of the convention.

I found this all very encouraging.

~ J.L. Hilton

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Stellarnet Rebel nominated for another sci-fi award

I just found out that the review staff from Love Romances & More Reviews nominated Stellarnet Rebel for Best Sci-Fi/Futuristic/Dystopian Book of the year.

Voting is going on now, and voters are all of the members of LR Cafe. LR Cafe is a Yahoo Group with a 4000+ membership where authors and readers can interact, enjoy themselves and talk about books. It’s free to join and free to vote. The polls are open until January 18, 2013.

My fellow Carina Press author Lily Cain is also nominated in the same category for her book Undercover Alliance.

Many thanks to Cindy Spencer Pape or I would never have known about the nomination!

Stellarnet Rebel is also the winner of the 2012 Galaxy Award for Best Non-Traditional Romance and a finalist in the Electronic Publishing Industry Coalition EPIC Award for best sci-fi ebook of the year.

~ J.L. Hilton

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