MY RATING: 10/10 HONKS!!!

As far as I know, there is nothing quite like UNTITLED GOOSE GAME. Its simple, storybook graphics remind me of Burly Men at Sea and Unfinished Swan, while its humor and mischievousness are akin to Catlateral Damage or Octodad. Goat Simulator also comes to mind, but that game is much darker and more violent, thus rated “M” for mature audiences.

UNTITLED GOOSE GAME is rated “E” for everyone. At worst, you cause people to hammer their thumbs or fall on their bums. You play as a wild goose on the loose, stealing keys, hiding tools, honking at frightened children, flapping your wings, snatching shoes, and generally wreaking feathered havoc upon a small English village.

Developed by four-person indie studio House House and published by Panic in September 2019, UNTITLED GOOSE GAME consists mostly of stealth and puzzles, with a number of creative ways to use the objects and environment to achieve each goal.

I spent six extremely enjoyable hours playing through the story and all of the bonus “to do” list objectives that are added after completing the main game. I did not do any of the optional “before the church bells ring” speed runs.

While single-player, it’s fun to play with others watching, as I did while streaming, or to play with family and friends, passing the controller around and seeing how different people approach each task.

I also love the “reactive” music in UNTITLED GOOSE GAME, where the soundtrack responds not only to the environment – such as playing different music when one moves from the garden to the high street shop – but also responds to actions in the game – such as playing slowly when the goose is in hiding then speeding up the tempo when the goose is noticed and chased by villagers.

Available for PS4, PC, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch and macOS.

~ J.L. Hilton

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MY RATING: 10,000 STEPS

THE LAST OF US is an incredibly popular action-adventure survival horror game developed by Naughty Dog (who’s also behind the Uncharted franchise) and published by Sony Computer Entertainment as a PlayStation 3 exclusive in 2013.

I downloaded the remastered version, free via PlayStation Plus in October 2019, to give this highly-acclaimed, multiple award winning game a try.

THE LAST OF US features a post-apocalyptic story in which Tess, Joel and Ellie make their way across a ruined Boston wasteland where spores and desperation turn people into monsters.

If my video seems pretty exciting, just keep in mind that I cut 2-1/2 hours of walking, talking and climbing. With its quick-time events, confusing stealth segments, walking simulation and boring conversations, THE LAST OF US didn’t do much for me.

You take the path the game dictates. Slowly. You listen to the conversations it gives you. No dialog choices. No skipping. There aren’t any decisions to make beyond “do I use my alcohol for molotovs or health packs?” or “should I use my limited ammo instead of this pipe that will vanish after five hits?”

I liked Tess. But I reckon she dies or disappears early, since the promotional art and online discussion is all about Joel and Ellie, so that didn’t really encourage me to continue playing, either.

I’ve been told several times “the story is good.” Maybe I didn’t play long enough to mosey along to the interesting scenes. Everything that happened in the first four hours seemed to be some version of:

Lonely guitar riff: Bow-wow-wow

(Characters shuffle into a room)

Tess: I’m mad, you know that?

Joel (gruffly): Y’all know I’m from Texas? Yeehaw or somethin’.
I jus’ don’ reckon we shud be doin’ whut we’re doin’.

Tess: We have to. Let’s get going.

Joel: Yes, ma’am

Lonely guitar riff: Bow-wow-wow

(Slow pan to the skyline)

THE LAST OF US is rated “M” for mature audiences due to blood and gore, intense violence, sexual themes and strong language.

~ J.L. Hilton

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