Sung to the tune of the classic “12 Days of Christmas”
On the twelfth day of Christmas, MacCready sniped for me…
Twelve Gunners gunning
Eleven raiders raiding
Ten super mutants
Nine sentry robots
Eight mongrels growling
Seven bloatflies flying
Six shaggy yao guai
Five radroaches
Four mirelurks
Three molerats
Two feral ghouls
And a deathclaw in the glowing sea
~ J.L. Hilton
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Trying to find a Christmas-themed video game is not easy! Halloween offers a variety of spooky, monster and madness games like Amnesia, Murdered: Soul Suspect, The Deadly Tower of Monsters, The Town of Light, and Until Dawn: Rush of Blood. All I could find for December was “The Festive Seasoning,” an expansion of the game OVERCOOKED.
OVERCOOKED is a chaotic cooperative cooking game for 1-4 players, developed by Ghost Town Games and released for PC, PS4 and Xbox One in 2016. It won the Best New IP, Best Debut Game, Best British Game and Best Family Game awards, among others.
Our entire family — mom, dad and two teens — loves OVERCOOKED. But it is challenging. While rated “E” for “everyone,” younger players may find it too difficult and should be teamed with older players.
“The Festive Seasoning” adds eight new levels, a turkey dinner recipe, and two new chefs — reindeer and snowman — all free on PS4 if you already have the main game. Or look for the OVERCOOKED “holiday bundle,” currently on sale for $6.79 for PS+ members, which includes the main game and both Lost Morsel and Festive Seasoning expansions. Absolutely worth every penny of the full $19.99 price if you’re not a member, for hours of family fun.
~ J.L. Hilton
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UPDATE: The sequel OVERCOOKED 2 is coming August 7, 2018, to PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch and PC!
SOUTH PARK: THE FRACTURED BUT WHOLE just came out in October and there’s a free demo on Playstation 4. I didn’t play Stick of Truth, but I’ve been watching South Park since I first saw Mr. Hanky in 1997, so I thought I’d give it a whirl.
Similar to a previous Try-It Tuesday title, Adventure Time: Finn & Jake Investigations, SOUTH PARK: THE FRACTURED BUT WHOLE is “2.5D,” which means a 3rd person side-scroller — left and right — with limited depth of movement — forward and back. I explored the world by watching for icons and pushing the corresponding controller buttons to interact with people and objects.
But, unlike Adventure Time, this game is absolutely NOT for children and probably not for a lot of adults, either. Finn never found a butt plug and personal lubricant next to Jake’s bed, or had to flip through a notebook of pornographic drawings to find the secret password “Fuck You Mom.”
SOUTH PARK: THE FRACTURED BUT WHOLE was developed by Ubisoft San Francisco and published by Ubisoft in collaboration with South Park Digital Studios. It’s available for PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch and PC, and is rated “M” for mature audiences, for Blood and Gore, Mature Humor, Nudity, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Use of Drugs, and Violence.
There are toilet-based mini-games, a turn-based combat system with powerful fart attacks, and in-game social media “Coonstagram” for taking selfies with other characters and boosting popularity. Based on the items I found in the game, there appears to be a crafting component, but I didn’t get to make anything before my one hour of demo time ended.
Visually, SOUTH PARK: THE FRACTURED BUT WHOLE looks just like the TV show, so playing the game feels a lot like being right in the middle of a new episode. I can handle South Park’s irreverent, rude, crude and offensive humor in 22-minute chunks, but I don’t know if I can handle hours and hours of a video game. I’ll stick with BioShock and Fallout 4 for now.
~ J.L. Hilton
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I typically try out games I’ve never played before, but this week was a “Try-It AGAIN Tuesday” with THIEF, the reboot developed by Eidos Montreal and published by Square Enix.
I played this game on Playstation 3 and wrote about it back in March 2014. Since then, I’ve played Dishonored, Dishonored 2, Death of the Outsider, Fallout 4 and many more games. I wanted to revisit THIEF with the free demo available on PS4, to see if it was as good — and as bad — as I thought it was three years ago.
The graphics were as beautiful and Garrett just as sexy as I remembered. The demo does not delve into the story of THIEF but does give a good sampling of gameplay, the majority of which is spent sneaking, stealing and avoiding the city watch in narrow alleys of a Victorian-style city.
I managed to fight two jewelry store guards at the same time, without dying, but this game is really about observation, stealth, agility, and patience, not brute force.
The audio is still problematic, with voices that seem to be in the same room when they’re actually outside, and repetitive prattle from the guards. The world still feels cramped and restrictive, and the game mechanics clunky, though perhaps not as bad as before, as I’m a more experienced gamer now. I would have preferred something more akin to Assassin’s Creed or inFAMOUS, and less searching for bird poo to indicate a rare climbable ledge.
As one of my viewers said during the livestream, there’s something endearing about THIEF, in spite of its faults, and I enjoyed playing it again.
THIEF is rated “M” for mature audiences, for blood, nudity, strong language, strong sexual content, drug use, and violence.
~ J.L. Hilton
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I don’t usually play games like FORTNITE BATTLE ROYALE, a third-person shooter PvP MMOG (that’s “Player vs Player Massively Multiplayer Online Game” for the uninitiated). But getting out of my comfort zone and trying new things is what Try-It Tuesday is all about. Plus, the fact that the game is free doesn’t hurt!
In FORTNITE BATTLE ROYALE, you’re dropped onto an island with 100 other players and nothing but your wits and a pickaxe. You can search for weapons, ammo, bandages, first aid kits, shield potions and other useful items to help you survive. You can also use your pickaxe to collect wood, stone and metal, to craft stairs, bridges, walls, towers, or entire bases. The last one standing wins.
To make things even more interesting, there’s a strange storm surrounding the island. Every few minutes, it shrinks, forcing the players into closer and closer combat quarters. If you’re caught in the storm, you die.
Play free on PS4
Play alone in solo mode, or team up with others in a duo or squad. Available on PC, PlayStation 4, Xbox One & Mac.
Rated “T” for teens, but be aware there is the ability to chat with other players via a headset, and you never know what complete strangers are going to say.
The game does have a code of conduct, which prohibits discriminatory language, hate speech, threats, spam, and other forms of harassment or illegal behavior, cheating, griefing, exploiting bugs and glitches, impersonating others, or sharing account information. There is the in-game option to report other players, or you can submit a report to Epic Games.
Matches tend to be short and sweet, especially if you suck at it, like me. To watch a winner, check out Starfish_central.
~ J.L. Hilton
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This week I tried a game called CLOCKWORK TALES: Of Glass and Ink, a throwback to my days of playing point-and-click puzzle adventures on the PC. A decade or so ago, when my kids were little and I didn’t have a lot of time or energy for longer, more challenging games, I would entertain myself with the likes of Azada, Mystery Case Files, and Dream Chronicles.
In CLOCKWORK TALES, you are Evangeline Glass and must save your mentor Dr. Ink, who disappears while investigating the cause of powerful earthquakes in the small snowy town of Hochwald. Developed by Artifex Mundi and published in 2013, the game has hand-drawn scenes inspired by the steampunk genre, and includes a clockwork crow companion, “steambugs” (clockwork insects), a Victorian dollhouse and an airship.
Click here to try the free PS4 demo
As far as game mechanics, it isn’t much different from the game I played last week, Adventure Time: Finn & Jake Investigations, just a little more complex because it’s meant for teens and adults, not children. You move through a level, interact with people and objects, and figure out how to use those assets to progress through the story. But this one also includes brain teasers and hidden object games.
If you like steampunk and you’re looking for a casual game with an interesting story, check out CLOCKWORK TALES. Rated “T” for teens.
~ J.L. Hilton
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Image source: All4desktops.comHe’ll come and he’ll say, “Lady?”
And I’ll answer him, “My lord?”
And it will be
Beneath this tree,
Twisted in its wood.
“Why leaves here?” he’ll ask me,
And he’ll touch a strand of hair,
Then he’ll brush
The earth and moss
From the gown I wear.
I’ll play for him some music,
And he’ll choose from flute or harp,
A melody
Of stone and ley,
Playing in the dark.
“Why so long here, lady?”
And he’s answered with a breeze,
The moon will rise
Upon the wise
Who dance between the trees.
He’ll come and he’ll say, “Lady,”
And I’ll answer him, “My love,”
Eternally
With longing need
Burns the faerie blood.
~ J.L. Hilton (c) 1992
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To celebrated the 111th livestream of my Rose the Raider playthrough of Fallout 4, I made a very special video called “111 KISSES: The Story of Granny’s Kiss” about the evolution of Rose’s favorite weapon, from its discovery by Dogmeat at level 5 all the way to its current, fully-upgraded, weighted and indigo, shocking puncturing rocket bat form, courtesy of the Nuka-World expansion.
You’ll see Granny “kiss” mutants, molerats, robots and raiders, as Rose makes her way through the Commonwealth, battering bosses such as Swan, Overboss Coulter, Bullet, Brother Thomas and the Mechanist.
Many thanks to long-time channel supporter Celtic Granny, for whom the baseball bat is named!
~ J.L. Hilton
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* * * SPOILER WARNING * * *
Rose is my second Sole Survivor, a melee build who became raider overboss in Fallout 4 at level 22. Today, I reached episode 111 of Rose’s journey on my Youtube channel, and a very special bonus video “111 Kisses” tells the story of Granny’s Kiss, her rocket-powered baseball bat.
For a long time, I focused on Nuka World content, clearing the park, restoring power, grabbing the Quantum X-01 Power Armor, building raider outposts throughout the Commonwealth, and completely ignoring Preston Garvey in Concord.
But when I eventually made my way to the Institute in episode 78, I knew Rose had some important decisions to make. Role-playing is my favorite part of video games. As a writer with a vivid imagination — and a psych degree — I love the mental exercise of working out my characters’ motivations, envisioning how they would interact with other characters and react to situations in the game.
This story is about a crossroads where Rose must weigh the options of Fallout 4‘s main questline from the perspective of a reluctant raider overboss, rather than the heroic ghoul-loving perspective of my first Sole Survivor Fiona, general of the Minutemen.
What Rose decides here will set the path she follows throughout the rest of the game, and determine the fate of the wasteland.
Rated M (Mature) for language, sexual references, drugs and alcohol.
1,100 words.
* * *
Two Roads Diverged in a Wasteland
The Institute teleported Rose so close to Starlight Drive-In, she could smell vodka and hear Redeye singing in the distance. She headed down the broken pavement of the pre-war road, toward the lights of the outpost, and waved to the raider at the gate. He looked like he belonged in a morgue, not on guard duty.
“Hey, Overboss, you raising hell?”
“Ain’t nothing but hell around here.”
“Right on.”
She hadn’t meant that in a good way, but she didn’t bother explaining. Fuck it. Scanning the half-assed shacks for a glimpse of Gage’s mohawk, she searched the scavenger’s shed, Python’s junk shop, and the chem cooker’s crash pad. Nobody talked to her, because nobody gave a shit. And she didn’t talk to them because she didn’t give a shit, either.
Nobody knew she’d been grifting the Brotherhood of Steel, sucking up to that puppy dog Danse and the big prig Elder Maxson so they’d build a molecular relay. Nobody asked why she was out alone, or wondered where she’d been the past two days while she was inside the most mysterious fucking headquarters in the Commonwealth, where her own son was the big boss of a high-tech gang that made mutants and synths.
And they wouldn’t believe her if she told them. They’d just laugh and offer her more chems.
Gage found her before she found him. “What the fuck are you doin’ here?”
That’s what passed for a warm welcome from her second-in-command. She turned around and met his eye. Just the one, because he wore a stupid-ass eyepatch that he didn’t really need but thought made him look mean or some shit.
She twirled Granny’s Kiss, her rocket-powered baseball bat, and placed the end of it against the welded bars of his armored chest. “Looking for you.”
Gage nodded at the big drive-in movie screen. “I was up top. Saw you come in. Also saw a big flash of light. What the hell was that?”
“I used the relay to get back, same way I got in.”
“So, it worked.”
Rose headed up the stairs to their personal penthouse of burlap canopies and old furniture, high above the jet-heads and shitbirds. Gage followed. The platform above the movie screen gave them a 360-degree view of the wasteland. She could even see the Brotherhood’s militarized airship, the Prydwen, in the distance, floating above the old Boston airport.
“Nope, didn’t work. I turned into green goo and they replaced me with a synth.”
Gage scowled harder than usual. “I hope that’s a joke.”
She set Granny’s Kiss on the table and dropped herself onto the couch. The same couch where she’d fucked him two days ago, which had seemed like the thing to do before going off on a crazy suicide mission. “Would a synth know you have an 8-inch cock that only lasts five minutes?”
“Ha, ha. It weren’t no ‘five minutes,’ more like ten.”
“And you’re bragging about that?”
“Best ten minutes of your life.” The scowl softened into a look of mild irritation. “Damn it, boss, you come strolling in here like you were just out picking hubflowers. I thought I’d never see you again. I was fixing to head back to Nuka World, hand everything over to the next asshole who made it through the gauntlet.”
He actually, sorta, sounded like he cared. Rose pulled a pack of fresh cigarettes from her pocket, lit one with a shiny gold lighter she’d boosted from an Institute egghead, and asked, “Still not interested in running the place yourself?”
“You know how I feel about that.”
“Yeah, you don’t like having a target on your back. I know.”
“You find out anything about your kid?”
“Shaun’s alive and well.”
“Well, that’s good, right?”
She took a long drag and tapped the ashes on the metal floor. “I guess.”
“I didn’t exactly peg you as mother of the year, but I thought you might care a little more than that. You gonna just leave him there?”
“He’s not a kid any more. Turns out, they took him out of the vault years ago and he’s grown now, works for the Institute. That’s why they let me come and they let me go.”
It wasn’t exactly the truth, but close enough.
“Damn. Who was the kid with Kellogg?”
Rose shrugged. “Some other kid.” A synth version of younger Shaun, but she kept that to herself.
“So, what now, Boss?”
“We’ve got the Brotherhood and the Institute trying to make the Commonwealth their own Cola Cars Arena. Just a matter of time before one of them starts breathing down our necks. I guess it’s too much to hope they wipe each other out and leave us alone.”
“Yeah, that’s the problem with having shit. Somebody always wants to take it away.”
Rose flicked her cigarette butt at the raiders below. “This lot can barely organize itself to clean latrines or go on a raid. They won’t withstand serious heat from the Brotherhood or the Institute.”
“We got an inside guy, though, right? Your kid?”
She shook her head. “I might be his mother but they raised him. He won’t help us.”
“Gunners won’t do jack shit but shoot us.”
“Railroad hates both sides.”
“Bunch of kooks.”
“Crazy or not, if I thought we could use them, I would, but from what I’ve seen, they don’t have the resources to take a mutant camp, let alone an army of synths or a battalion of power-armored paladins.”
He leaned his hard ass against the railing and crossed his arms. “So, what do you suggest?”
“You left your family to be on the winning side. Would it be much of a stretch to leave Nuka World, too?”
“I ain’t joining the Institute. Fuck that.”
“Well, yeah, fuck that. They’re too shiny and clean. But what if I tip the odds in the Brotherhood’s favor? Give them some insider information about the Institute?”
“Seeing as you’ve been inside.”
“Exactly. So let’s join the Brotherhood. It’s just another gang, with better weapons and no chems. Isn’t that what you want? You’re always bitching at me whenever I use mentats or jet.”
“I’m not very good at behaving myself or taking orders. That’s why I never joined the Gunners. Well, that, and I don’t get hard for assaultrons.”
“You don’t seem to mind doing what I tell you.”
“Because when you tell me to do something, it makes sense. And if it don’t, I let you know.”
Or you grab the next sap who survives the gauntlet and help him kill me.
Rose had no illusions that Gage loved her or that his loyalty would last any longer than her usefulness. She decided it would be best, for now, to go on playing all sides and see what panned out. When and if the time came to jump ship, with or without Gage, she’d be ready. She’d survive.
* * *
UPDATE: Rose ended up using the Brotherhood to destroy the Institute. She fell for boy scout Danse and they dismantled her raider empire, reverting all of the outposts back to settlements, and in the end they confronted and killed Gage at Starlight Drive-In. But out of respect she built him a tomb, decorated with raider stuff and all of the weapons from his arsenal.
~ J.L. Hilton
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* * *
See a complete list of video game fiction, articles and more under the Video Games tab of this website or click here.
* * *
I’ve streamed hundreds of hours of video gaming on my Youtube channel, and I’ve noticed that viewers fall into a few basic categories.
Good – These are the best! They are viewers who “like,” subscribe, and sometimes even pledge money on Patreon. They might be Lurkers who quietly enjoy the content, or they might be active participants who ask relevant questions, give helpful suggestions, offer friendly banter during live chat, and leave supportive comments on my videos. I love and appreciate them all.
Bad – Viewers who detract from the overall experience, but are easy to deal with and only mildly annoying. They tend to be one of the following sub-types:
Ugly – Youtube has tools for moderating inappropriate comments and blocking unwelcome visitors, so other viewers may not even realize these abusive folks exist. But, trust me, they do. If I seem to be distracted during a livestream, it’s probably because I’m fending off some jerk using multiple accounts to harass me in the chat room.
If you’re just getting started or considering livestreaming, try not to be discouraged. Fortunately, the Good far outnumber the Bad and the Ugly.
~ J.L. Hilton
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