I found a box of tapes I made in the 80s and 90s. This one is from 1992, when I attended California State University, Long Beach, working on a degree in psychology. Bill Clinton was elected president that year. It was the first presidential election in which I was able to vote. I was still dating Ron, though our relationship wasn’t great.
I wanted someone to love me the way Billy Joel did in “She’s Got a Way.” This song came out the year I was born and I don’t remember what brought it into my life 1n the ’90s. Probably heard it while hanging out with friends at a small bar in the Jolly Roger restaurant, at the Long Beach marina, where we’d go to see the cover band Flyer.
Overall there’s a very dark tone to this mixtape. The music is sad, moody and melancholy. The lyrics repeat themes of loneliness and hopelessness over and over… Is there anybody out there… Hey you… Wish you were here…
But now the sun shines cold
And all the sky is grey
The stars are dimmed by clouds and tears
And all I wish
Is gone away
– To Wish Impossible Things, The Cure (1992)
I was dealing with a lot at the time, struggling to come to terms with my abusive childhood, putting myself through school, working full time while also a full time student, living in a large, dangerous city. The Los Angeles riots happened in 1992.
Some songs show up again from previous tapes but now we start getting The Cure, Pink Floyd, baroque music, and Beauty and the Beast, which came out in 1991. I’ve had a brass Beast on my keychain to this day.
I have no idea why I included “Tara” by Roxy Music. The song was 10 years old at the time I made this tape, and I wasn’t a fan of the band or anything. But another eight years later, in 2000, I named my first child Tara.
Side one
- Is there Anybody Out There? – Pink Floyd (1979)
- Hey You – Pink Floyd (1979)
- Beauty & the Beast prologue – Disney (1991)
- Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again – Phantom of the Opera (1986)
- Sarabande from Harpsichord Suite in D Minor – Handel (1733)
- O Fortuna – Carmina Burana
- Rondeau from Abdelazer Suite – Purcell (1695)
- The Severed Garden (Adagio) – Jim Morrison
- Allegro molto appassionato in E Minor Op. 64 – Mendelssohn (1845)
- Moonlight Sonata – Beethoven (1801)
- All I Ask of You – Phantom of the Opera (1986)
- Les Mis finale – Les Misérables (1985)
- Velvet Tear – Mannheim Steamroller
- Watermark – Enya, 1988
Side two
- Wish You Were Here – Pink Floyd (1975)
- One More Time – The Cure (1987)
- To Wish Impossible Things – The Cure (1992)
- Tara – Roxy Music (1982)
- A Thousand Hours – The Cure (1987)
- Asleep – The Smiths (1986)
- She’s Got a Way – Billy Joel (1971)
- Toota Lute – Mannheim Steamroller (1977)
- Bard Dance – Enya (1986)
- Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini – Rachmaninoff (Somewhere in Time movie soundtrack, 1980)
~ J.L. Hilton
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